Autumn's Wild Heart (Seasons Book 4) Read online

  “Yes, my lord. This way, my lady.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Pendleton,” she said, then turned to him. “Would you mind if I had a tray sent up, then retired early, my lord?”

  James couldn’t help but be surprised at her request. “No, my lady. Not if that’s what you’d prefer.”

  “It is,” she answered, then followed Mrs. Pendleton up the stairs.

  When she was out of sight, James went to his study and closed the door behind him. He stopped at the sideboard and poured himself a tumbler of brandy, then took the brandy decanter with him when he sat behind his desk. He took a swallow, then set his glass on the desk and leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

  “Bloody hell,” he hissed through closed teeth. His earlier acceptance of his situation suddenly abandoned him. How had he landed himself in this mess? How was he to survive the rest of his life?

  James thought of the multitude of beautiful women who’d thrown themselves at his feet. Why couldn’t it have been one of those who’d drugged him? Why couldn’t he have compromised one of them?

  He thought of how his life would change now that he’d married the woman he had. His wife had made it plain that she would not be going to London in their lifetime. She would not be a part of the nobility that attended the most fashionable balls and social events, but he was allowed to go without her.

  Bloody hell, was he really going to be that person?

  How long would it be before his friends and acquaintances would wonder why his wife was never with him? They would, of course believe he was ashamed of her appearance and did not want to be seen with her.

  Was that true? Would that be the reason he wouldn’t insist she came to Town with him? Could he be that vain and shallow?

  On the other hand, had she insisted upon remaining in the country to give him an excuse? To let him believe it was her choice that he conduct his London business without her so he didn’t have to blame himself for abandoning her?

  He leaned forward and took a long swallow of his brandy. He wasn’t proud of himself, but he couldn’t deny that a part of him was glad she insisted that she remain in the country when he went to Town. He wasn’t used to having any female other than one of the most beautiful women on his arm. It deflected attention from himself, and he actually liked that.

  He finished his glass of brandy and refilled it, then walked to the window and stared out into the waning sunlight. Little by little the brightness faded and the darkness wrapped around him like the fleece of a warm blanket.

  Tonight was his wedding night. And he was terrified. As terrified as he was sure his wife was. How on earth would he ever survive it?

  He refilled his brandy, then sank into a wing chair and drank it. Then drank another. And another. And….

  Finally, he climbed the stairs and knocked on his wife’s door.

  ~■~

  Nella heard the knock on the door and pulled the covers up beneath her chin. This was her wedding night and she knew that her husband would come to her. She only thought it would have been long before now. It had to be well past midnight.

  “May I come in?” he asked from the doorway.

  “Of course, my lord.”

  Nella had never been so nervous in her life. She’d never been more frightened than she was now. She held her breath, seeking to sink beneath the bedclothes.

  “I brought wine. I thought you might like a glass before we…uh…go to bed.”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  Nella sat up in the bed and watched the man of her dreams pour her a glass of wine.

  He handed it to her, then sat in the chair beside her bed and stretched his long muscular legs out in front of him.

  She took a swallow, trying desperately not to clutch the wineglass so hard that it might snap.

  “I don’t mean to embarrass you, my lady, but I must ask you one question before we lie together.”

  “Yes?”

  “You’ll excuse me, but I must ask if you are aware of what goes on between a husband and wife.”

  Nella felt her cheeks blaze. She thought she might die of embarrassment.

  He spoke to cover her unease.

  “My aunt, the dowager Countess of Newbury, suggested I ask you. She said because your mother died several years ago, it was possible your father was uncomfortable bringing up the subject of our wedding night.”

  Nella took a large swallow of her wine then choked on it.

  “Did your father speak to you?” he repeated when she’d recovered.

  “Yes. We had a brief talk,” she whispered.

  “May I ask what he said?”

  Nella’s cheeks burned even hotter. “He said that you…have had much experience in…what goes on between a man and a woman, so I should just…um… do what you…tell me to do.”

  “Bloody hell,” he whispered, then took several swallows from his tumbler.

  “Was that not what you wished him to say?”

  The clearly annoyed earl rose to his feet, staggered, then took several unsteady steps until he reached the curtained window.

  “Was there more he should have told me?”

  “A great deal more.”

  “I see.”

  Nella thought she might die of embarrassment. “Could we just do this without you explaining what it is you expect me to do?”

  Her husband took another swallow. “Yes, that might be for the best.”

  He removed his shoes and stockings, then stood and removed his jacket, waistcoat, and cravat.

  Nella gasped and turned her head to look away from him. “Are you going to get completely undressed, my lord?”

  “Yes, wife. I am.”

  “Am I to undress, too?”

  “Yes, wife, you are.”

  “Oh.”

  “Unless you would like me to undress you?”

  “No! I will do it, but could we please put out the candles? Can you do this in the dark?”

  “Yes, I can.”

  “Oh, good,” she breathed, then watched until he’d extinguished all the candles. “And the draperies, my lord. Could you close them, please?”

  He walked to the window and pulled the drapery and the room was cloaked in welcome darkness.

  With trembling hands, Nella removed her gown, then lay deathly still. She heard her husband remove the rest of his clothing, then pull the covers back. He sat on the edge of the bed and the mattress sank in the middle, rolling her close to him. With a gentle touch, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her next to him. The feel of a man’s hands on her naked body was something she’d never pondered. Strangely, it seemed to push her nervous modesty into the shadows and replace it with timid curiosity. She lightly laid her hand on his arm that was now resting beneath her breasts.

  “I will try not to hurt you, wife. It’s my wish to bring you only pleasure.”

  “Oh,” Nella whispered.

  His hand moved and she sucked in a startled breath. He drew his fingers slowly across places she’d not been touched before. His hands moved from one tender point of pleasure to another.

  Nella lay still and let him do as her father said she must, startled to discover that the experience wasn’t something she would dread repeating. In time, she thought she might even come to anticipate it.

  And maybe, in time, her husband might not be so repulsed by her that he could endure to kiss her.

  And maybe, in time, her husband would not have to be completely sotted before he could bear to make love to her.

  Chapter 5

  Nella woke the next morning to find herself alone in her bed, with a place deep inside her feeling alive like it had never been before.

  She rose and slipped on her robe before her maid Theresa came into the room and found her without her nightgown on. She blushed, thinking of the things she’d allowed her husband to do.

  Theresa came in a short while later and helped her dress, then combed her hair. When she was presentable, she went downstairs.

  W
ith every step she took, she wasn’t sure how she’d have the courage to face him. She told herself that thousands of women before her had done the very same things she and her husband had done on their wedding night, but that didn’t make what she’d done any less embarrassing.

  Nella thought she was ready to face him, but she walked into the breakfast room to find him sitting at the breakfast table with the food on his plate half eaten.

  He rose.

  “Good morning, my lady.”

  “Good morning, my lord.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  How sweet of him to ask. But was that a worried look on his face? For a moment, modesty made her consider how to answer, but her feeling of bliss swept it away. There was only one answer to his question.

  “Content, my lord.” One corner of her mouth quirked up in a way that felt scandalously sassy.

  He cleared his throat, clearly not having expected her candor.

  “James. You promised to call me James.”

  “Very well, James.” Why in the world did her voice sound so husky? Was she coming down with something?

  Before the thought fully materialized, her husband smiled and her heart flipped in her breast.

  “Would you like me to fill a plate for you or would you like to get your own food?”

  “No need…James. Eat your food before it gets cold.”

  He sat and continued to eat as she moved to the sideboard. Once her plate was prepared, she sat down beside him and poured herself a cup of coffee. She added sugar and cream and drank the cup before it cooled. Then, she ate the sweetened ham and coddled eggs she’d taken.

  “What are your plans for today?” she asked, not wanting to sit in silence.

  “I’ve asked Wittal, my steward, to meet with me and fill me in on everything that’s happened while I’ve been in London. How are you thinking of spending the day, Petronella?”

  A ripple of pleasure fluttered up her spine. He’s spoken her name only a handful of times so far, very formally, with little warmth. But today the way it spilled from his lips was so natural that she was quite taken aback, as if he’d just paid her a high compliment.

  “I thought I would ask Mrs. Pendleton to show me the house, if that’s agreeable with you.”

  “Of course,” he answered. “This is your house now, Petronella.”

  “Please,” she interrupted. “I prefer Nella.”

  It was positively ridiculous to interrupt him, but the way he spoke her name Petronella as if she were some sort of Greek goddess stirred her in ways that induced a constant raging blush.

  “Nella, then.”

  Drat. Entreating him to use her shortened name proved no less stimulating.

  “If there’s anything you see that needs to be done, or anything you’d like to change, feel free to change it.”

  She dabbed at the corners of her mouth with the linen cloth.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. Nothing’s been changed at Colworth Abbey since my mother was alive.”

  “Then I must say your mother had elegant taste. So I think I’ll wait until I have a feel for our home before I make any permanent changes to the house.”

  He stopped fiddling with his fork and took a sip of his coffee. “That sounds like a wise decision. Are you always this cautious?”

  She considered his words. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I only mean, you don’t seem like a person who makes rash decisions.”

  No, she was not prone to make rash decisions. Nella lowered her gaze. Except for the night she chose to rush to his rescue. That had certainly been her most rash decision ever.

  ~■~

  Nella followed Mrs. Pendleton as she led her through each floor of the house. The third floor was made up of rooms for the servants, female staff members in the east wing and male staff members in the west.

  In the east wing on the second floor, Nella was surprised to see the nursery, a playroom filled with toys and games and even a white wooden rocking horse with big brown eyes and lashes, and a bedchamber for the nurse. The west wing revealed several guest bedchambers.

  Nella’s suite of rooms as well as her husband’s rooms made up the entire east wing of the first floor. The entire west wing of the first floor was lined with several more guest bedchambers, with a glass-ceilinged solarium at the end of the hall.

  “Were all these bedchambers in use?” she asked Mrs. Pendleton. “Did Lord Danvers entertain much in the past?”

  “Yes, my lady. He had guests in the house quite regularly. They were mostly gentleman friends of his and they would stay a week or more at a time. It was grand,” she finished.

  Nella thought of what her husband’s life had been like before they married. She’d always known he had a multitude of friends, so she should have realized that since he had an estate not that far from London, he would naturally entertain his friends here.

  She wondered if he would continue that tradition, or if he would live like a hermit as she had suggested she wanted to live.

  She walked out of one bedchamber and looked upward. A rich oak balcony surrounded the outer rooms on each floor that looked down on the pink marble-tiled foyer. Above the foyer rose a domed ceiling with a round stained-glass window set at its center. The beautifully-worked glass allowed colored decorative panes to cast the foyer in a vibrant rainbow. The formal entry was rather breathtaking from this vantage point.

  She turned in circles, marveling at her beautiful dwelling and wondering how she’d been so fortunate as to have a home so magnificent. A long moment later, Mrs. Pendleton walked to the stairs and led her to the ground floor.

  “This wing is where his lordship spends most of his time when he entertains,” the housekeeper said, then crossed to the right, to the west wing. The first door she opened was definitely a drawing room designed for the comfort of male guests. The colors were dark, the woods richly stained, and there were several decanters scattered throughout the room.

  “This is the Blue Drawing Room.”

  “It’s handsome,” Nella said, not wishing to step into the very masculine domain.

  “Next to it is the Rose Drawing Room.”

  “Oh, how lovely,” Nella said, realizing that this room was decorated in more quiet colors.

  “And next are the Billiard Room and his lordship’s Gaming Room.”

  Nella stepped inside the first room and took in the large billiard table set with balls ready to be struck. On one wall were several cue cabinets with a variety of sizes and lengths of sticks from which to choose. There were also several round tables scattered throughout the room with four to six chairs surrounding each one. The wall beyond them was lined with several targets, no doubt for darts.

  This house was, in every way, more grand than the home in which she’d been raised. And more masculine. She would tread very carefully into the realm of suggesting change.

  “This brings us to the informal dining room. His lordship eats breakfast here with any guests he might be entertaining.”

  The room had felt immediately cozy, and Nella thought this was no doubt where she and her husband would take their meals as they had done this morning.

  Mrs. Pendleton led her from the small dining room by a back exit. An enclosed hallway led them to the opposite wing. The east wing.

  The first room at the very end of the hallway was the formal dining room—vastly larger and much more elaborate.

  From the dining room they stepped into the library. It took up nearly a third of the hall with a library running the full length of one side and both ends, and a gallery on the other long wall. It was high-ceilinged and rich with carved woods. A truly magnificent room.

  There were atlases and maps and law books, and books of historical battles, and poems. It seemed there wasn’t any topic left unrepresented.

  Nella walked the perimeter of the room and ran her fingers along the spines of the books. The room was cleverly lit, and the clusters of chairs and tables
and sofas and settees scattered around the room were logically arranged. There were enough small tables on which to set books and tea cups and trays. Nothing seemed amiss.

  “It’s a beautiful library,” she whispered in appreciation.

  “Yes, my lady. His lordship spends a great deal of time here.”

  “I can see why,” Nella answered.

  From there, Mrs. Pendleton showed her the adjoining Orchid Room and the Music Room. The Orchid Room was done in lilacs and greens and lavenders, giving it a warm, homey look. The music room was done in lavish shades of burgundy, creams and golds. And, in the corner of the room sat an ancient clavichord posed next to a beautifully ornate piano.

  “And finally, I’ll show you his lordship’s study,” Mrs. Pendleton said, breaking Nella’s concentration. “This is where you will most generally find his lordship when he’s working on estate matters.”

  Nella peeked into the room and stared at the large desk that occupied most of the room’s windowed end. She could imagine James working in here.

  “Would you like a cup of tea, my lady,” Mrs. Pendleton asked as she led Nella back into the hallway. “I can have a cup of chamomile brought into the Rose Room.”

  “Yes, I should like tea, Mrs. Pendleton. But would you please bring it to the library? I’d like to search for a book.”

  “Of course, my lady.”

  “And would you relay a message to the staff that I am extremely impressed by the care you and they have given to Colworth Abbey?”

  A broad smile crossed Mrs. Pendleton’s face. “Thank you, my lady. I will tell the staff. They will be most pleased that you noticed.”

  Nella watched Mrs. Pendleton leave as she slipped back into the library, then walked around the room in search of a book or two to read. After a pleasant hour, she wandered to the music room, knowing without thinking that this might very well become her favorite room of her new home.

  She sat on the piano bench and pressed down on a key. The touch was perfect. The tone was beautiful. She placed her fingers on the keys and began to play.

  ~■~

  James walked through the front door after having met with his steward and paused. Unexpected strains of music drifted into the grand hall. He walked toward his study but didn’t go into the room. Instead, he walked on to the next room. The Music Room. A room he seldom entered.